Once every few hundred years there comes along something truly great. Even less often, is that something actually rewarded for it’s greatness. We’d like to thank MTV today for doing what everybody was hoping for and finally awarding Smartfood a lifetime achievement award. Before we get into the details we’d like to point out the use of a spaceman on the award, symbolizing that Neil Armstrong, despite decent achievement, can only aspire to be a bag of Smartfood’s miniature pet.

Smartfood (according to Wikipedia) was first created in 1985 by Andrew Martin, Ken Meyers, and Martin’s wife Ann Withey. The popcorn itself was originally to be sold in the actual product, re-sealable packages. Based on how many of these re-sealable packages we’ve seen in use since then we think it’s pretty obvious it was a piece of crap and that only helped it’s packaged air-popped goodness to shine brighter. Since then Smartfood has had it’s share of ups and downs, easily tumultuous enough to score itself an E True Hollywood story. But it never did star in that True Hollywood Story and, instead, starred in our hearts as people all over the world discovered this tasty treat.

In it’s early years the White Cheddar Champion was known to the “pop”arazzi as a bit of a partier. The little black bag was seen on the cover of numerous publications and even starred in a leaked sex tape at one point. At times it was all Andy, Kenny, and Annie could do to keep their air-popped love coming home each night where they could at least rest knowing he was asleep in his bed, not the gutter. As Smartfood grew up and realized it was in a world where butter and fake cheese were king he had a bit of an identity crisis. Knowing it was always cheaper to pop corn in oil, Smartfood became destructive. Mixing in with a bad crowd of gummie animals and high-sugared sodas, Ess Eff, as the snack was nicknamed by his new friends, began experimenting with drugs. Lacking a mouth and having no place to hide his trackmarks, Ess Eff began to mix his light coat of white cheddar with a decidedly more dangerous white powder. Through the mid to late 80s Smartfood was jokingly called “Dumbfood” and “Smart Crack Whore.” It seemed the snack wouldn’t survive another year, let alone decade, when it was rescued by an unseeming hero in 1989, Frito-Lay.

Frito-Lay paid off the medical and damage bills (reportedly at 14.5 million American dollars) for the young snack and took over custody immediately. Frito promised the snack what it had already given up on dreaming of — immortality and universal love. Since that time Smartfood has really come to it’s own. Realizing that drugs and self-destruction are not the way to go, the Cheddar hero has gone on extensive touring, mostly to elementary and high schools, to share it’s story of life, death, and rebirth. Not that Smartfood got all weird and religious, just a bit more responsible. As the snack went through great pains to change its image it grew more fully into the Smartfood we know and love today.

Currently sold at over 9,000 stores world-wide, Smartfood is now the most popular white cheddar cheese flavored air-popped snack in history. Over six hundred million kernels of Smartfood Popcord are consumed every ten minutes and the snack is the most searched for pre-packaged snack on google.com. It is with humility and awe that we present this MTV lifetime achievement award to the most deserving consumer product in history, Smartfood Popcorn.

Smartfood’s speech: ” ”

Truly humbling*.

With love,
White Cheddar

*Some or all of the preceding statements may or may not be complete fabrications

Today is a bittersweet day for us at SmartFoodDelicious.com. This post marks the debut of our all new video-posting technology*! But alas, it is a day marked by sadness. This will also be our first post where Smartfood is not completely skull-crushingly triumphant.

Today’s video takes us back to a simpler time, a time where people could just party all night not worrying about what packaged popcorn was purchased for the purpose of their powerful yet passionate pleasure…I’m speaking, of course, of New Year’s Eve 2008. It started off like any other end-of-the-year banger but things took a turn south when one of the party-goers went to the kitchen for some snacks. What she found was not only horrendously disturbing, but also disheartening, shocking, depressing, tear-jerking, and simile-inducing. She found, where she expected two fresh bags of Smartfood, an impostor. But not the good kind of impostor that just costs less, the bad kind like the cereal on the bottom shelf in a bag at your local grocer (and no, guy who tries to validate his cheapness by pretending cardboard is tasty: it doesn’t taste just as good). The pain and suffering she went through I’d wish on no one, save not even my mortal enemy.

We at SmartFoodDelicious.com happened to be ready during such a traumatic time and did our best to console the troubled young girl. We don’t think we were successful but we do hope that the distressing (completely candid, we swear) footage caught will strike a chord in the hearts of those future hosts and hostesses of the world so that they may consider stocking their party with only the best. That when you have a little craving they will be ready with what we all know and love, Smartfood.

-White Cheddar

*Special thanks to Kara Ann for being our first ever SmartFoodDelicious.com actress and making our first ever video post possible!

This is a belly dance troupe. Do you know the most important part of a belly dancer? Her belly! And after a hard days performance what do these particular dancers use to relax? What kind of miracle snack have they discovered that keeps them full of energy and sexy bellies? Smartfood! When asked why they have such a disturbing love for Smartfood they all shouted (in frightening unison): “It’s good for the heart, mind, soul…and MY BELLY!” Nineteen time world champion cabaret/belly dancer Keziah said of the snack: “If it weren’t for this popcorn I honestly don’t know where I’d be right now. I mean, I could be face down in a gutter in Milwaukee…Or just hungry. Either way, it’s not something I like to think about.” Heavy words for the young dancer.

So get out there and buy some Smartfood! YOU could be the next world champion belly dancer*!

-White Cheddar

*Probably not

My crew and I decided to relax inside the lodge for a few minutes after a morning of hard riding, and what should we find there? Why, a huge rack of Smartfood! We promptly bought some and ate it. Here is us enjoying it.

-White Cheddar

Just because there were no posts over the weekend doesn’t mean Smartfood wasn’t out there workin’ it’s charm on the slopes, etc. So many action shots this week, it’s hard to imagine. BUT the camera in which these images of hope and wonder reside is currently AWOL. MIA? FUBAR? SNAFU? WTF? BBQ? LOL? I’m not sure where I was going with that. Point is you’ll have to wait for the camera to be found for more sweet sweet pictures to arrive at this, the number one Smartfood fansite on the Interwebz.

Please don’t forget that pictures emailed to white.cheddar@smartfooddelicious.com do NOT need to be uploaded from the camera! They will be posted TODAY! So get snappin’ and emailing, maybe even at some point we’ll make a list of the highest contributors…Just make sure you register at this site and send your user name along with your photo. Happy Monday.

-White Cheddar

Who better to lie down with after a long day hittin’ fat forty-footers and shredding rails than a nice full bag of Air-popped goodness? Nobody, I submit. At least no one who will remain as tasty, fresh, AND comfortable as a nice full (not for long) bag of Smartfood popcorn. Which is why our Smartfood fan of the day is Claire, the hardest riding female rider this side of sanity (the “in” side). Keep shredding and eating like wicked smartly tasty.

-White Cheddar

Have you ever snuggled with a bag of Doritos? Hugged a Twizzler? Made out with a can of Pringles? I didn’t think so. But I’d be surprised if anybody reading this hasn’t at least had some inappropriate thoughts about Smartfood. Some people even take it too far…You don’t want to see what happened five minutes after this photo was taken, it’s actually a little bit haunting. And sexy. But mostly haunting. (And sexy).

-White Cheddar

This guy’s a freak. All he does is skydive. And talk about skydiving. And buy $650 skydiving watches with altimeters built in. And when he’s not skydiving? He’s practicing on chairs. And what’s better than laying on a chair and trying to envision your feeble body plummeting towards earth at three thousand miles an hour? Laying on a chair and trying to envision your feeble body plummeting towards earth at three thousand miles an hour with a bag of Smartfood. Yeah.

-White Cheddar

Just the way I like to start my day off, by giving the best packaged snack a hug. Then tearing it open and savagely eating it’s insides. Then laying my eggs in it’s hollow shell to hatch in the near future…Or something like that.

-White Cheddar

Alright so here’s the first in what will hopefully be an (at least) daily onslaught of Smartfood goodness. I anticipate more pictures in the future as well as factoids or comments on my own experiences regarding the heavenly snack. If you have any pictures at all, preferably of you and Smartfood doing something steezy, or any comments or stories about an experience you had with our beloved please feel free to send me an email at white.cheddar@smartfooddelicious.com

-White Cheddar